me, myself and i

didn't do much this weekend, as you can imagine. my housemate and i didn't have anwhere to go so we just stayed at home. went out for a couple of hours to buy some grocery. we got so caught up doing household chores that we didn't have time to talk or touch base with each other.

i realize now that to be jobless is to have no purpose in life. i'm so isolated here, having no friends to talk to, and my family living 3 hours away. the only friend i can count on these days is my housemate, who has his own troubles occupying his mind. i think he's sensing that i am getting restless and unsatisfied. maybe if he was a girl, he would understand me more. as it is, he is sort of frustrated with my frustrations. he thinks i'm just making it more difficult on myself by moping around the house instead of occupying my time with more useful things.

thing is, i don't know how to motivate myself. i've always needed somebody to back me up. be enthusiastic for me. encourage me to move on. i don't know how i can change this about myself. i need to help myself get out of this rut. i can't count on anyone or anything to do this for me. it's really just me, myself and i.